


Little Red Riding Kyle

by orphan_account



Category: South Park
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Bears, Bottom Kyle Broflovski, Explicit Language, Fairy Tale Elements, Humor, Kyman - Freeform, M/M, Sexual Content, Sharing Clothes, Sharing a Bed, Smut, Top Eric Cartman, Wolves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-03
Updated: 2019-12-03
Packaged: 2021-02-26 04:22:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,711
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21627517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: The re-telling of Little Red Riding Kyle.Little Red Riding Kyle was trying to reach the safety of his grandmother's house when trouble followed. Almost on the brink of death, he is saved some a lonesome woodsman.
Relationships: Craig Tucker/Tweek Tweak, Kyle Broflovski/Eric Cartman
Comments: 9
Kudos: 68





	Little Red Riding Kyle

**Author's Note:**

> I do NOT own South Park, all rights go to Comedy Central and South Park creators: Matt Stone & Trey Parker. I am happily using these characters for my own amusement and this piece of work is not meant to be taken seriously. I hope you guys enjoy my fic and happy reading!

Oh dear, I do apologize for the circumstance, but it seems the story has been ripped apart. It's too bad, as this is the only copy in existence as it is quite old. It seems we have no other option: we will have to come up with our own version of the story if we want this to continue. But who the fuck wants to do that? You're all lucky I originally wrote this shit and have this story embedded in my mind. 

Contrariety to the children's version of our beloved fairy-tale, the actual story itself is one of romance, loyalty, betrayal, and awesome sex scenes that paved the way for Pornhub--except for the butt-fuckin bears, seriously, they can all suck my balls. So sit your ass down and listen to the tale I'm about to tell. This is the story about a gay boy in a red hood and a totally awesome, handsome, woodsman who saved the day. 

In a far away land, there lived the tiny town of South Park. Nestled along the large river from Stark's Pond, lived many villagers, tall and small. They all sang happy songs when the sun rose, greeting the morning with a pleasant tune of gratefulness and joy. A bit secluded from the other villagers, North, was a Tudor cottage where at the large window with the balcony decorated in flowers and hummingbirds was the room of a very beautiful boy named Kyle Broflovski. Kyle slept peacefully as the sun shown on his creamy white proceline skin, his wavy fire red hair covering his forehead as he snuggled deep into his lace pillows. 

Birds flew to his balcony, tweeting at him to wake up. Poor Kyle did not want to wake up. The morning had come too early for him, as he had spent half the night dancing away to a broom he swiped from downstairs as practice for next week's village square ball. The birds were relentless and wouldn't stop making noise until Kyle slowly sat up, brushing his bed head away from his sleepy emerald green eyes with dainty fingers. 

"Is it morning already?" He asked himself. Suddenly, he could hear the town singing once more and sighed to himself. Everyone must be awake now. If there is singing, the town was awake. Kyle stretched, his long blue spaghetti string silk nightgown hung nicely on his smooth shoulders as he reached for his lace robe and slippers before making his way to his balcony to watch the sunrise. He allowed a bird to fly on his index finger, bringing the animal up to his cheek to allow the bird to snuggle into him. 

"Well, there is one good thing about waking up early." Kyle told the bird, "do you know what that is?" 

The bird tweeted, shaking it's head. 

Kyle nodded his head towards the training grounds of South Park. Kyle had the perfect view of the boys training. All day long he could hear shouts, war cries and swords smashing and chiming together. It wasn't the sport Kyle was interested in at all, rather it was the boy who currently wielded the sword, bashing it against the wooden dummy. He was the blacksmith's son, Stan Marsh. Kyle fawned over him more than anyone in the entire village. Stan was chivalrous, kind, brave and extraordinary handsome with his bright blue eyes, jet black hair, strong jawline and muscular frame. He would be the knight that protected South Park from invaders. 

_And,_ Kyle thought to himself, giddy, _my knight in shining armor_. 

"Oh, Stanley...." Kyle sighed to himself, the bird flying from his finger away to wherever as Kyle twirled around his pink bedroom, falling back down again on his comfortable bed before sitting up and holding a white picture frame from his bedside table. It was a picture of Stanley that Kyle had been given by Stan himself. The redhead took it as a sign that he wanted to be with Kyle the very moment he was given it, but so far Stan hadn't so much as called or visited him and he was always busy whenever Kyle stopped over by the Blacksmith's. 

The redhead glanced over at his ballgown hanging up on the back of his wardrobe on full display. It was a beautiful satin green material that he had spent weeks with his loud and nosy mother stitching together. Finally it was finished and Kyle couldn't wait to wear it and dance in front of everyone with his dashing knight, Stanley. Kyle sighed lovingly, as he imagine swaying back and forth in Stan's arms all night, but his bliss hadn't lasted long for his mother, Sheila, screeched for him downstairs. 

"Kyle! Are you awake yet?! You'll sleep half the day if you don't move now! Breakfast is ready!" 

The boy groaned. "She's always ruining my day." He pouted. As he grew older, he found himself having more fall outs with his mother. His father being the town's lawyer, he had little contact with him and only saw him at nights, so normally Kyle was stuck running errands with his mother; something he greatly detested. He loved his mother with all his heart, but sometimes, he wanted a life of his own, away from her over-protective bearings. He wanted a life with Stanley. 

"Kyle!"

"I'm coming!" Kyle called, rushing to brush his hair and put on his favorite outfit of an orange parka and a matching green hat and skinny jeans. He over looked himself in his mirror one last time before darting downstairs for breakfast. 

Kyle's normal day consisted of mainly finding flowers for his mother's shop. Shelia ran a floral boutique, with her and Kyle's father's successful businesses, Kyle never had to worry about going hungry or not having nice things. But he liked to think he was responsible for his mother's shop's success. As it was he who scrounged South Park for it's finest daisies, posies, marigolds and the Colorado blue columbine, his favorite flower. He smiled as he held one to his nose, sniffing in the sweet scent. He placed the blue flower in his basket and continued his search for more flowers when he heard cheers and laughter coming from the pond not too far away. 

He went to find the source of the cheerful noise when he blushed at the sight of Craig Tucker, Clyde Donovan and Stanley Marsh cooling off in the water. The other boys Kyle wasn't concerned about, but when he saw Stan, shirtless, and dripping wet, he felt his knees go weak. Stan was glistening with the sun beating down on him and his defined muscles made Kyle want to melt in his arms. However, he wasn't watching his footing and quickly found himself stumbling down the hill and over the bushes he was hiding behind until he landed at the pond. 

"Woah!" Clyde called. 

"Are you okay?" Craig chimed in. 

"Kyle!" Stand started running towards his friend to help him off the ground. Truthfully, the fall hadn't hurt Kyle at all, but feigning a small injury wouldn't hurt he figured. Stan was in front of him immediately, looking over him to ensure he wasn't bleeding. "That looked like a nasty fall, are you hurt?" 

"Oh, um, I'm okay, I think." Kyle spoke in a small voice. 

"Here, let's get you standing." Stan bit his lip, helping his friend up. Kyle wobbled but he claimed he was fine and could walk properly. "Oh no, Kyle. Your flowers. They're all smashed." Stan wasn't wrong, his basket was ruined and the flowers he had inside were now dirty and crumbled. Kyle tried to laugh it off, assuring his friend that he could pick more later. Clyde and Craig left seeing that Kyle was fine and went to cool off more in the water, but Stan stayed behind to given himself a second reassurance his friend wasn't hurt. 

"What were you doing that caused you to fall?" Stan asked.

Kyle blushed. "Oh....erm....I saw this." He picked up the Colorado Blue Columbine and handed it to Stan. "Then I saw you guys and I wanted to give this to you as a good luck in hopes you'll be knighted, Stan, though, I doubt you need it, you're fantastic." He blushed, giving a big smile. The raven haired boy couldn't hide his tiny blush as he gingerly accepted the flower. 

"Thank you, Kyle. This will surly give me the confidence I need tomorrow." Stan grinned. 

Little Red Riding Kyle felt ecstatic. His mood did not damper the next night either, as he twirled around in his silk dress getting ready for the ball. He wore matching low, silk bowed kitten heels and around his neck was a choker of pearls. He did frown at his hair, wishing he could do more than simply comb it till it was in cute ringlets, but a small pearl barrette did add a chic look. All day Kyle had been trying to listen in and see Stan from afar at the training grounds. However, he knew it would be pointless as they'd announce Stan's knighthood later tonight or not. He'd find out eventually. 

"Kyle! are you ready _yet?"_ his mother called from downstairs. 

Rolling his eyes, Kyle didn't answer but happily left his dimly lit bedroom and headed downstairs. Sheila and Gerald were gathering their things when Kyle twirled into the room, smiling. 

"Oh well don't you look wonderful!" Sheila gasped. "Oh, Gerald, isn't Kyle pretty?" 

"Yes, you're beautiful; let's hurry, grab your coat Kyle." The man held up Kyle's red cloak and the boy frowned. He didn't want to wear that. It would clash with his dress and he wasn't that cold. 

"Please, Papa, I don't want my cloak." Kyle all but begged. He wanted to be grown, make his own decisions, have his own family, and yet he was pulled back to reality. He was still under the roof of his over-bearing mother who seemed to have a distaste in Kyle showing off his smooth shoulders. 

" _Nonsense,_ Kyle, it's freezing outside, put it on without any fuss please." Sheila retorted. Kyle scowled. He'd take it off at the party, he told himself. It wasn't too far of a walk for the Broflovski family to the ball. IT was a magnificent sight, there were tables of delicious food, lanterns that made the outdoor patio light up romantically, and there was even a sparkling fountain where lovers made wishes by tossing coins. It was blissful.

When Kyle arrived, almost all eyes were on him. There was no doubt he was truly the belle of the ball wherever he went; While all eyes were on him, he was searching for Stanley. 

"Oh my goodness, you look terrific, Kyle!" 

"Kyle, you're so pretty!" 

"Oh, Kyle, can I please dance with you tonight?" 

Compliment after compliment, no wonder Kyle kept thinking about guys. They were all over him. Kyle would politely smile, engage in small conversation and remember his manners. It wasn't long until Kyle saw him. Stanley was sitting on a marble bench further into the garden area of the patio ball. Gasping as he raced diligently to his best friend, he had the biggest grin on his face when he saw Stanley adorning the crest of the South Park cow on his knight armor as well as a knight's sword swapped out of his practice sword. 

The redhead was overcome with joy. It was finally all coming together for him. What he spotted most noticeably was the blue Colorado flower tucked under his blue and red poof ball hat. 

"Oh, Stanley, congratulations!" Kyle beamed, as Stan nervously chuckled. "I'm so proud of you. Becoming a knight must have been hard." 

"Hi Kyle, don't you look lovely tonight." Stan had to admit, Kyle was very pretty in his dress. Kyle and Stan caught up with Stan explaining the process of being knighted by the South Park mayor and how glad he was that his Dad didn't get drunk and make an ass of himself. "My mom was crying at the end and even my bitchy sister was happy for me. And it was easier knowing I had encouragement from the people I loved." Stan started.

Little Red Riding Kyle felt his cheeks begin to turn pink from his blush. He giggled. "Oh, I mean, it's nothing really. . . .you could have done anything you set your mind to without encouragement from anyone-" 

"well, when you have a good girl like Wendy cheering you on." 

Kyle paused. His stomach suddenly doing flip-flops. He wasn't expecting Stan to say that. "W-who is Wendy?" 

"Oh, Wendy Testaburger! She's new to South Park and, get this Kyle, she's a knight too! She's South Park's first female knight. Isn't that great?!" Stan grinned. He continued on and on about how helpful and sweet of a girl Wendy was and how she made training look effortless, how she got along with other guys and that she was going to be Stan's scouting partner. Kyle slowly tuned him out. A dark creep of jealousy began to engulf him. 

"She's actually right over there if you wanna meet-Kyle? Something wrong?" Stan grew concerned when he saw a tear fall down Kyle's cheek.

"So you . . . . like her?" 

The raven haired boy nodded. "I do, a lot." 

"You mean . . . .you want to be with. . . her?" 

Stan laughed. "I mean, once I stop throwing up around her I'll ask her out but--"

"But nothing!" Kyle startled Stan when he yelled. "I. . . Stanley, I like you! I love you Stan! Everyone knows we're meant to be together." Kyle was crying at this point. "I've always been there for you and I wanted to keep it that way. . . " 

The raven haired boy sighed. "Look, Kyle. . . I love you too, but not in that way." 

"Why not? Am I ugly?" Kyle gasped. That had to be it. "You think I'm ugly!" 

"No-no, where are you getting this information? Kyle, I love you as a friend and I care about you. I know people like to pin us together because we've been friends since we were little-" 

"It's not fair you lead me on!" Kyle sobbed, his makeup was ruined and he felt sick. He wanted to go home and cry his eyes out into his stuffed animals and pillows. "you lead me to believe you wanted to marry me!" 

"Now, Kyle that's not true!" Stan was getting angry. He didn't mean to upset his friend, but he didn't feel he had made Kyle believe he was interested in him and he was already hurt that Kyle was hurting. "Now will you stop this, you have every man and woman trailing after you in South Park why not just pick one of them? If anyone leads people on its you." 

Kyle gasped and out of anger he slapped Stanley across the face, startling the knight. 

"Don't you dare call me what I think you were about to!" He sobbed as Stan winced at the red mark on his cheek. Anger consumed Kyle. He had spent months dreaming about this day, about dancing with Stanley at the ball, about Stan proposing, getting married, having their own family and suddenly another woman comes along and ruins his happily ever after. Stanley thought he was a whore because he had admirers? He detested Wendy Testaburger and he hated Stan Marsh for breaking his heart.

"I hate you Stan! You were the only man I wanted to love and now I hate you!"

Humiliated, in tears and fed up, Kyle did what his brain told him to next and ran away, ignoring Stan's calls for him to come back. Kyle didn't dare run back to the party and be seen in such attire, nor did running and crying to his parents seem like the best idea either. He wanted to go home and be left alone and to cry all night. Kyle ran until he saw a clearing leading to the woods, figuring he'd take a short cut through he didn't stop running. With tears in his eyes and in complete hysteria from a heartbreaking night, Kyle made the misfortune of not seeing a small ledge and screamed loudly as he tumbled down the hill in the dark. 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave kudos and a comment if you enjoyed this and want to see me continue.


End file.
